The Bright Side of Anxiety

It's an abstract thought, but I've been thinking nonstop- about the fact that my imagination runs wild in both positive in negative ways. What if, what if, what if? When put in a pressure situation, I'm legitimately neurotic. When not in a pressure situation, I'm entirely restless. I have a burning desire to move and I'm deathly afraid of going anywhere.

But it's a great thing. Every victory, no matter how small, is meaningful. Every finished story, poem, and lyric becomes more than the simple busywork of a jaded, ink-black heart. I may lose my mind, but in the end I find my soul.

Do you know why I love Switchfoot? Well, I'm an obsessive individual who clings to his fondest childhood memories, and Switchfoot was one of the very first bands I fell in love with. But moreso because their lyrics line up with my own thoughts: our most effective art is born from our struggles.

because we are fire
burning brightly
you and I
we light the sky when we ignite

when we come alive
when we come alive

I get it. I know those moments when I feel lost and nearly have a panic attack... and the times when my restlessness overcomes my urge to run (fight versus flight, every day of my life). I'm lost, but I carry on because the moments when I come alive are completely worth it.

I may retreat, and I may taste defeat over and over again, but I know how I can win the war that plagues my mind. I know the cure for cyanide: it's sugar, and I self-administer it with the tip of my writer's block pen.