literature

Cyclone

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goldshroom's avatar
By
Published:
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Literature Text

I find myself
writing this
over and
over again...

Here lies
the tension-
borders between
ourselves have grown

Here lies
redemption-
crises we can't
survive alone

A storm
is coming-
pushing against
our comfort zone

Living
and dying-
vicious cycle
like a cyclone

And it happens
every day
over and
over again...

Here lies
emotion-
defined by our
aggressive tone

Here lies
contention-
the seeds of doubt
that we have sown

A storm
is brewing-
swirling in
our blood and bone

Gaining
and losing-
vicious cycle
like a cyclone

Board your windows,
blockade your doors-
a deadly force,
the source
of wars,
will rattle us
to our cores

It's a vicious
cycle
over and
over again...

Honestly,
it's getting
far too bland...

These ten words
reveal
where I stand-

Every generation
has the chance to change
this tormented land.
Comments9
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Shattered-Writer's avatar
:star::star::star::star-half::star-empty: Overall
:star::star::star::star-half::star-empty: Vision
:star::star::star::star::star-empty: Originality
:star::star::star::star::star-half: Technique
:star::star::star::star-half::star-empty: Impact

I love how this poem gets it's point across and still manages to keep up with the flow and rhythm that poems are known for going along with. The wording is clever and how it is executed really gets the point across considering that it's hard to find words that will not only fit with the poem but also rhyme and make sense.

Honestly, the only thing that I see wrong is the tiny spelling errors and mistakes if I was to be nit picky. Plus, sometimes in some places the formatting of the poem broke it up into something that was awkward. Such as the sixth chunk. The poem though is good enough and executed well enough to not allow these minor things to drag it down.

Keep up the good work.